I was in oddly aggressive mood for Monday, especially in considering I'd just had HDTV cable and a new broadband connection installed (Qwest DSL is SUCKING!!!! put that in you router and smoke it!)
After the cable guy (who looked and spoke nothing like Larry) left I hopped in the '64 and went off to work. It was not more than a few blocks down Burwell (SR-304), where it opens from 1 to 2 lanes that I came across him. Mr. Mountbike State Patrol (hereforto reffered to as 'The Man'.). Stopped in the #1 lane (Naval and Burwell - 25 MPH zone), I reached the intersection just as the light was turning green. Having seen 'The Man' before I knew he was there. This is where the trouble started.
With a nice jack-rabbit start I launched in a spirited fashion, quickly reaching 25 MPH, leaving 'The Man' a good distance behind, off to my left. My radar detector immedialy went solid 'K' band. GAME ON! He must have known I had a detector, it's easy to spot when on, and even easier when signaly a full-on radar attack.
I maintained my 25 MPH pace, with him right on my quarty panel as we turned left towards the shipyard. After passing the last base entrance speed limit jumps from 25 to 30 (first of many speed limit changes on this section of highway.. can it be a highway with a 25 MPH speed limit.. that's a question for another day). Now following right behind me I change from the middle lane to the left and right before crossing the 30 sign, radar lights me up again. Fortuanly I'd already placed the frozen burrito on the dash. Cooking was now underway.
Leaving the shipyard speed increases again to 45 as it heads west towards SR-3 south. Instead of reamining in the #2 lane, which would take him back to the WSP barracks, 'The Man' dropped in on my tail, I'm sure he was hoping to catch me in the 50->40->50->60 zone known at the town of Gorst, WA.
Taking the SR-304 to SR-3 East onramp right at 50, I moved again into the #1 lane as soon as legally possible. He kept behind me but off on my right. Soon the 40 MPH speed and drunk trap (AKA Gorst) would be in sight. With the reliablity of the sun rising, as soon as I was at the 40 sign.. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET, off goes the detector again. You'd think they'd be more creative. Frost is just about gone from the Burrito.
At this point I needed to get into the #2 lane, lest I end up in the wolves den of Police/Court corruption known as Port Orchard. This meant I had to change lanes, placing right in front of 'The Man'. At this point he's all over me, like a hobo on a 50.
I managed to make it through Gorst without busting the 40 limit. Do you know how hard that is in a Porsche.. they don't like going that slow.. but we made it none the less. Down the road the 50 MPH limit sign would be appearing and I could take it up a notch. At this point I moved to the #2 lane (out of #1 which was #2 through gorst.. are you following me here?) as the highway climbs from Gorst, to outskirts of Port Orchard. 50 MPH. He's on my left flank. I could read his badge number of I'd wanted too.
As we crest the hill he begins to pull away. A 60 MPH was coming up soon.. looked like he was getting tired of playing with me. While still barely in sight I thought it unwise to jump to 60 before the sign. It turned out to be a good move.. because right before I crossed into the 60 zone... WEEEEEEEEEEEEET again.. he lights me up, hoping to catch me 'breaking the law'. No such luck Johnny Law. You're not playing with the average driver here.
He remained well ahead of me for several miles.. but still withing sight. There were a few cars between us, but I kept it at the limit. A good song on the radio.. I was in no rush. Another mile or so later I pass a maroon Ford Explorer on the shoulder of the road.... 'The Man'.. sailed right on past.. didn't even see brake lights.. nice.. possible stranded motorist and he whizzes on past.
I guess it was a good call on his part.. as I passed the SUV it had already started to roll and merge back onto the highway.
On last chance remained for him to get me. The infamous 60->50->60 trap before Purdy. It's also just before the Kitsap/Mason county line. He was still in sight.. far ahead of me as we came into the 50 zone. There were a ton of other cars.. no way he could radar me and honestly write me a ticket. Screw it though.. that intersection is the most dangerous in the county, no need to be hero.
As I pass the 60->50 Speed Change Ahead sign I start to slow down.. and I'm doing 50 right as I get to the sigh. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTT WTF?!?! It was full-on signal.. and 'The Man' was way to far ahead of me to be the source. Then I notice that maroon SUV. 1/8 mile back or so.. in my lane... BUGGERS! That's not citizen in distress.. it's one of the WSP's undercover patrol vehicles! No wonder he did not slow down to check on that 'motorist' on the side of the road. He'd called ahead. And then it made sense. As soon as I was next to the SUV, off came the flashers and brakes and he merged onto the highway behind me.
Following the last failed attempt to lock-on with weapons.. 'The Man' turned off on the Purdy exit and headed off to points unknown. The SUV? It pulled onto the shoulder of the highway under the Purdy Cuttoff overpass, at which point I lost sight of him.
My hat is off to the WSP for trolling deep to catch a fish. It was a good trap.. and had I been paying closer attention It would have spotted it before it was sprung. Too bad for them I was not breaking the law.
Sometimes you poke at the bear and you don't get eaten. Plus.. you can have a piping hot breakfast burrito micorwaved on your dash, all at the same time! It sure was yummy.
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